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Post by BlueDolphin on May 18, 2007 16:51:13 GMT -5
We have all heard of the nice guy syndrome and how it appears that aggressive guys seem to get the girls more often than nice guys who are shunned. But is there any truth to this claim? Does it occur as often as everyone says or is this just bitter exaggeration? If so, why does it happen?
"Girls" in this case can refer to a general trend (if it exists at all). Of course, not everyone in a gender is the same, so this is not meant to disparage the whole female gender or to suggest that all girls have the same motives no more than all boys having the same personalities.
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Post by woowoo on May 18, 2007 18:01:08 GMT -5
read the book "Sex, Drugs, and COCO Puffs" by chuck klosterman. this syndrome/stereotype you speak of is mainly set by entertainment and the media setting false ideals and roles into our head. im not saying those are awful, but it talks about how human behavior is starting to mirror the one-dimensional personalities of movie/media characters. i dont want to ruin the book by making it sound like preachy propaganda, cause it really isnt. but i recommend it to everyone.
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Post by Monolith on May 18, 2007 18:32:35 GMT -5
Indeed, and welcome to SoCal. It's probably the worst down here, or at least I've found that to be so. Nobody wants meaningful relationships. Too much Sex in the City, which is an awful show that nobody should ever watch by the way.
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Post by Archagon on May 18, 2007 19:54:56 GMT -5
"this syndrome/stereotype you speak of is mainly set by entertainment and the media setting false ideals and roles into our head."
Hmm... doesn't sound like a very convincing argument to me. AFAIK, this sort of stuff has been going on long before the media ever existed.
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Post by Arachis on May 18, 2007 20:35:54 GMT -5
Is that true alexie? I always thought that in the past (looking at old movies and books) that the girls usually went for the nice innocent guy.
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Post by Monolith on May 18, 2007 20:47:31 GMT -5
Those were the old stories, modern media is quite different.
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Post by woowoo on May 18, 2007 20:51:20 GMT -5
like i said, i dont want to ruin the argument of the book. just go check it out from your library.
and the generalization of SoCal people not wanting serious relationships is totally inaccurate.
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Post by Archagon on May 18, 2007 21:17:27 GMT -5
I'm not interested enough in the argument to care. "Is that true alexie?" At least to some extent, yes.
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Post by Monolith on May 18, 2007 21:33:08 GMT -5
like i said, i dont want to ruin the argument of the book. just go check it out from your library. and the generalization of SoCal people not wanting serious relationships is totally inaccurate. I'm currently going to college in SoCal. For the most part, yes, it is true.
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Post by Blues on May 18, 2007 22:32:57 GMT -5
I'm a nice guy to an extent....right? I dunno.
my girlfriend is from So Cal....and she wanted a meaningful relationship...
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Post by Monolith on May 18, 2007 22:44:51 GMT -5
I'm not saying they don't exist, I'm talking about the average person. From what I can tell very few people here have really been around the kind of people we're talking about. When I got in that crappy roomate situation last year I got pretty much the full brunt of it. Even some of my friends here aren't looking for a serious relationship, they just want one night stands or fuck buddies. Maybe it's not even the majority, but compared to the Bay Area it's much more common to run into people like that down here.
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Post by BlueDolphin on May 18, 2007 22:53:43 GMT -5
like i said, i dont want to ruin the argument of the book. just go check it out from your library. and the generalization of SoCal people not wanting serious relationships is totally inaccurate. I do appreciate you not wanting to spoil it, but I don't want to run over to the library just yet. Can you give a bigger summary at least? Wouldn't characters be imitating social norms to begin with? Oh, and who are you woowoo?
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Post by Arachis on May 19, 2007 0:36:42 GMT -5
haha.. terrence you are not what I would call a nice guy. not that you arent nice. I think the nice guy is supposed to be a nice, kind of shy and innocent guy who wants an intimate long-term relationship. Is that what everyone else means?
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Post by caffine10x on May 19, 2007 1:17:26 GMT -5
I think that theres a certain degree of niceness you need. You can be TOO nice then the girl will just view you as a friend. The one that gets the relationship is the one that is nice, but only sparingly (sorta) It gets boring for the girl if you just agree with her all the time and are nice to her, put more excitement to the relationship with mystery and the occasional tease. That's what keeps it going.
This is what i heard....dunno if its true or not. ladies?
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Post by BlueDolphin on May 19, 2007 2:43:08 GMT -5
haha.. terrence you are not what I would call a nice guy. not that you arent nice. I think the nice guy is supposed to be a nice, kind of shy and innocent guy who wants an intimate long-term relationship. Is that what everyone else means? I would agree with that description. Nice may not be all of it, since it is possible to be nice while being outgoing.
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