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Post by Blues on Apr 14, 2004 15:04:40 GMT -5
I walk down the alley it's dark.
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Post by Blues on Apr 14, 2004 15:05:15 GMT -5
I feel it nessicairy to say: TJHIS IS NOT SPAM!! you can truly fine\d an inner meaning.
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Post by bezzerkker on Apr 14, 2004 16:30:26 GMT -5
example: "I walk down the alley" could symbolize someone's plight into a dark area of life, or an area of unsureness, for dark alleys often contain shady characters in books and movies, and thus they are brougt to mind when they are thought about "it is dark" could be confirming that it is a dark time, or at least a difficult time in the writer's life
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Post by Arachis on Apr 14, 2004 17:14:26 GMT -5
There is a much better and simpler way to explain this poem....
Bad Poetry!
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Post by bezzerkker on Apr 14, 2004 17:58:18 GMT -5
it isn't too bad, if more lines, hopefully relevant lines, are added and a rhythm is kept, it could be the start of a poem, a more complex vocabulary might make it better "it's dark" is tad simplistic
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Post by Arachis on Apr 14, 2004 18:14:42 GMT -5
at least if your going to make it a two line poem... do something like this: (Btw its not like this poem is at all good....)
Pitted walls tower above me, enclosing the small shred of sky that bears the only light left.....
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Post by Haku on Apr 14, 2004 22:47:03 GMT -5
this looks like spam to me.
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Post by Archagon on Apr 14, 2004 22:50:05 GMT -5
Silent sentinels, slow and steady, siphon the sigma of the scenery. Secondary sober slivers steady shining stars, smothering serenity.
I win? By the way, I have absolutely no clue what the meaning of the above writ is.
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Post by Antid on Apr 15, 2004 14:01:51 GMT -5
Hmm, this looks like fun. Let me try.
The one whose lucid eyes resemble, Him that elicits souls to tremble.
I think we've invented a new form of creative poetry. Let's call it the "Blueser" in honor of Terrance.
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Post by Arachis on Apr 15, 2004 17:17:53 GMT -5
Let me translate Alexeis post into rudimentery language Silent guards, slow and steady, drain the sum of the scenery secondary serious thin peices keep steady the shining stars, and cover up all tranquility...
Here is another two line poem
Glasses ram and fall aclinking to the merry sound of drinking. Champagne bubbles up around. Drinks are lost and drinks are found. And in the center slouching awry Bacchus stands in all his glory. A glory made of drunken men, Of hoary glade, or sunken glen, of frenzied drunken wild balls, of Mansions, alcohol drenched halls. And yet the palace buoyed up by light champagne, in bowl and cup until it sits upon a cloud or so it seems to drunken crowd.
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Post by henry on Apr 16, 2004 23:01:50 GMT -5
i think i get this form...
I frolic in a field of daisies my soul is blackness
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Post by Arachis on Apr 17, 2004 13:10:51 GMT -5
what words do rhyme with fields of daisys? Who knows? I'm full of slackness
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Post by Nature's Fury on Apr 17, 2004 18:03:44 GMT -5
The echoing song of the Mother of Earth the driving force of Life's rebirth
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Post by Archagon on Apr 17, 2004 18:41:44 GMT -5
Metal trees and neon lights bretheren may tether, But redemtion gives to me through the rainy weather.
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Post by henry on Apr 17, 2004 19:30:11 GMT -5
bla bla meaningless rhyme big words ergo poem's meaning is trivial
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