Post by Archagon on Sept 25, 2002 21:08:37 GMT -5
Funny letters to PC Gamer:
1.
"I have lots of good ideas for games, and I thought you could help me out by making them for me and then sending me the money. That way, I could move out on my own. So take your time. Anyway, here are my ideas (remember, they're my ideas):
(1) Happy Gnome: You're a silly little gnome wearing silly shoes that let you travel through time. The shoes' names are "shoe 1" and "shoe 4." Sometimes they argue and have to be separated. That's where the strategy aspect of the game comes into play.
(2)Rainbow of Judgement: You're a rainbow, and you pass judgement.
(3) Racecar Man from Boise: There's this guy who drives the van here, and he's from Boise, and I told him that when I get rich and famous from being a computer guy, I'd make a game about him. He drives the van crazy-like sometimes, and yesterday I spilled my red Mountain Dew on the floor, and he made me clean it up.
(4) Wake Up Mr. Thomas: There's this really big guy named Mr. Thomas with really large glasses that works here. He cleans up the floor. He's always sleeping and you have to wake him up.
Thank you for listening to my ideas. I hope we can work together on them. If you have any ideas to add, please let me know, since I live here. Also, I told all my friends that I would be in your magazine, so could you print my letter so that I'm not a filthy liar? Thanks.
-Jason Buonome"
2.
PCGamer's response to someone telling them (very angrily) to stop dissing Russia:
"We're not even sure what you're referring to, Konstantin, but we concede that it's quite possible we made fun of Russia at some point. As for the "cavemen who live in constant winter" propaganda, we apologize for the exaggeration. We all know that Russia enjoys a whole month of sunlight each year."
3.
"You really need to place a warning label inside your magazine! Every time my new PC Gamer arrives, I rip the plastic off and head straight for the throne room. I usually get through about 3/4 of the mag when all of a sudden I realize I can no longer feel my legs. Luckily, I'm able to find the strength to lift long enough to wipe, but after that I end up falling to the floor and dragging myself to the couch in pain! How about a warning label in the middle of the mag for us guys who don't know when to quit?
-Jonny Mc
P.S. Someone please smack the Vede for me: his column gets more freaky every month."
1.
"I have lots of good ideas for games, and I thought you could help me out by making them for me and then sending me the money. That way, I could move out on my own. So take your time. Anyway, here are my ideas (remember, they're my ideas):
(1) Happy Gnome: You're a silly little gnome wearing silly shoes that let you travel through time. The shoes' names are "shoe 1" and "shoe 4." Sometimes they argue and have to be separated. That's where the strategy aspect of the game comes into play.
(2)Rainbow of Judgement: You're a rainbow, and you pass judgement.
(3) Racecar Man from Boise: There's this guy who drives the van here, and he's from Boise, and I told him that when I get rich and famous from being a computer guy, I'd make a game about him. He drives the van crazy-like sometimes, and yesterday I spilled my red Mountain Dew on the floor, and he made me clean it up.
(4) Wake Up Mr. Thomas: There's this really big guy named Mr. Thomas with really large glasses that works here. He cleans up the floor. He's always sleeping and you have to wake him up.
Thank you for listening to my ideas. I hope we can work together on them. If you have any ideas to add, please let me know, since I live here. Also, I told all my friends that I would be in your magazine, so could you print my letter so that I'm not a filthy liar? Thanks.
-Jason Buonome"
2.
PCGamer's response to someone telling them (very angrily) to stop dissing Russia:
"We're not even sure what you're referring to, Konstantin, but we concede that it's quite possible we made fun of Russia at some point. As for the "cavemen who live in constant winter" propaganda, we apologize for the exaggeration. We all know that Russia enjoys a whole month of sunlight each year."
3.
"You really need to place a warning label inside your magazine! Every time my new PC Gamer arrives, I rip the plastic off and head straight for the throne room. I usually get through about 3/4 of the mag when all of a sudden I realize I can no longer feel my legs. Luckily, I'm able to find the strength to lift long enough to wipe, but after that I end up falling to the floor and dragging myself to the couch in pain! How about a warning label in the middle of the mag for us guys who don't know when to quit?
-Jonny Mc
P.S. Someone please smack the Vede for me: his column gets more freaky every month."