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Post by Archagon on Apr 5, 2003 16:59:09 GMT -5
I cannot write very good poems in freeform. However, I tried to do so yesterday because I was bored.
THESE ARE EXPERIMENTAL.
Please give as much critisizm as possible. I would appreciate it. Don't just say, "they suck" or "they're great."
1)
Lift your gaze from its pedestal Chained firmly unto the earth. Let your eyes fly away And embrace the sky.
Separate your feet from the cobblestones Holding them to their fate. Let them run free in the plains Where none had run before.
Hold out the palm of your hand And let the sun drip slowly down. Catch those heavenly drops And take in their light.
Hold in your heart that sky Hold in your grasp those plains Hold in yourself that light For they are all you have.
2)
Come to my village, little dove Land upon the crumpled walls of my home And glance upon the plains and forests That once were.
Fly to the fountain, little dove And cry an innocent tear For the laughing children sending their wishes down the well That once played here.
Come to the cemetary, little dove Walk along the lines of those who once breathed that mellow air... Walk to the last stone, my bird, and uncover the ancient letters from beneath the ivy... Here I lie.
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Post by GreenPathways16 on Apr 5, 2003 19:28:14 GMT -5
Cool man. Very cool. Keep at it!!!
Yay!!!
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Post by Archagon on Apr 5, 2003 19:28:59 GMT -5
Alright, I'll keep trying.
Writing freeform is much harder than sticking to a template.
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Post by Little Miss Odd on Apr 5, 2003 22:07:13 GMT -5
heck yea
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Post by Devastatingly Yours on Apr 22, 2003 16:51:47 GMT -5
really? it is? I guess I don't think so....that's probably just me then
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Post by Little Miss Odd on Apr 22, 2003 17:54:16 GMT -5
though freedom gives you much more leeway... templates give you more time to think about what you say, not how you say it..
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Post by Archagon on Apr 22, 2003 21:31:48 GMT -5
With freeform, I find it hard to make it sound...POETIC. These are the ONLY freeform poems which I could possibly call poems that I have made.
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