|
Post by GreenPathways16 on Jul 11, 2003 22:17:43 GMT -5
Into the darkness, They whisper...
Pale fog enshrouds Where the sea rests. The hills meet the clouds Where the water is nearest.
I still dream of that day Now it is decades ago. There I had often stayed There now, I can never go...
Time passed me by When I was with you. You spoke of clearer skies Of all things good and true
I still long for the sea. Of those days I ponder Those hills called to me And have made me, a wanderer.
Wishing ever always Into the darkness, They whisper "There will never be a way To hold her, to kiss her"
I miss her so. By the ocean, by the hills Of her fate, I do not know. And, I never will.
-Yes, sad isnt it. A lonely man remembers his lost love. He was forced to leave her, and now he returns to his fishing village as an old man, lost and unable to find her.
|
|
|
Post by BlueDolphin on Jul 11, 2003 22:24:42 GMT -5
sad poem... But well written.
|
|
|
Post by Archagon on Jul 12, 2003 1:57:29 GMT -5
Very nice poem. I likes the idea.
|
|
|
Post by Icktheus on Jul 24, 2003 14:35:26 GMT -5
It is quite a good poem. But let me offer my critisizm: your rhymes are sometimes strange, and your meter is sometimes awkward. But I doubt I could do better, so your poem is very good. Good job.
|
|