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Post by Icktheus on Jul 26, 2003 0:54:15 GMT -5
Here is one of my poems. I know it isn't that great, and one of the rhymes is sort of messed up, and the meter is a bit awful....okay fine. It's just plain not-good. Of course I may be judging my own work to harshly and modestly. But I felt like I needed to post it online, so here it is (keep in mind I wrote it quickly):
Sitting on the Porch
I look upon these stars so bright, and will never once question their might. I once thought it shame that they die at the day, But I guess I wouldn't look at them anyway!
The world at night is filled with so much wander, But is it this really this time I regard as the fonder? The day, of course, is great on its own! Who could forget flower blossoms full grown?
The day is but magic with colors and sky, With the regal bald eagle, soaring sky high. And who could forget the trickling stream, That the elk drinks so gayly, as if it were cream?
But the night is so peaceful, and as it would seem, With stars whose magic, silvery gleam, Is so much more grand than the light of day, and the life it brings with it with each every ray.
It is the war of forever, between the day and the night. Every twelve hours, they show us their might. They beat down at each other, at dawn and at dusk, and each as routine assumes full power and lust.
So who is the better, the night or the day? The silvery shine, or the colorful ray? Day is but day, and night is but night. No answer to this would ever be right.
Please give me your comments.
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Post by Archagon on Jul 26, 2003 1:18:04 GMT -5
Well, yes, the meter is off, but I really like the idea itself and its implementation.
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Post by Icktheus on Jul 28, 2003 0:19:06 GMT -5
Well, if you read it correctly, you can force out working meter, and then it flows really nicely. It's just the problem of finding out how the meter works is all. Thank you for your input.
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Post by Archagon on Jul 28, 2003 0:45:57 GMT -5
I consider it output.
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