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Depths
Sept 12, 2003 20:46:09 GMT -5
Post by Nature's Fury on Sept 12, 2003 20:46:09 GMT -5
here I stand at the edge of the cliff the edge between life and death peering into the depths
here I waver wondering what they could hold the icy waves they surge and swell in my blood
Here I fall the pounding of the surf is the pounding of my heart louder and deeper and gone
here I sink the ocean of blood blue and red and cold my future
Here I die plunging down into the dark eyes and sun dimming I sink into the depths
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Depths
Sept 12, 2003 20:54:22 GMT -5
Post by Archagon on Sept 12, 2003 20:54:22 GMT -5
Mmm...deliciously dark and gloomy.
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Depths
Sept 13, 2003 1:09:13 GMT -5
Post by Nature's Fury on Sept 13, 2003 1:09:13 GMT -5
Dark and gloomy... yes, very much dark and gloomy... I'm glad you like it, though.
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Depths
Sept 14, 2003 15:22:20 GMT -5
Post by Evilduck on Sept 14, 2003 15:22:20 GMT -5
I like it too, but it needs some commas were you would naturally pause when reading it. That would make it flow better, at least for me.
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