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Post by Little Miss Odd on Mar 24, 2004 20:31:13 GMT -5
Lancaster and York, in this war, each led Two bishops, two castles, two knights; swords drawn. Lord and Lady of carnelian red Summon protection against the white pawn! Dance the dance on squares of darkness and light. O, Bishop glide, ‘tween the pieces you slide, And the Castles push forth, o’er black, and white, And swift, swift Knight, o’er the pieces you ride. Guard well the Lady who glides and impels, Stately Queen, so devoted to your Lord, Battle your foe; you’ve great power, it quells. History forever, Wars on this board, This game, the tribute to a war so old, First move is made, let the story unfold.
so i am strange and wrote a sonnet about chess, so sue me, i love the game, and even if my poem isn't perfect, it's 14 lines closer to the mandatory 125
if you have suggestions to make it better, post em and help me get an A
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Post by Archagon on Mar 24, 2004 20:42:22 GMT -5
Getting a bit...obsessed, are we?
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Post by KillinKrillan on Mar 24, 2004 20:43:53 GMT -5
It's all a fad... Give it a... week.
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Post by Little Miss Odd on Mar 24, 2004 20:44:35 GMT -5
i've been working on it for a while now
and it's more creative than doing a love sonnet, shakespeare took that, and petrarch
and i do like the game for being a game, i do not live for it like some other people *cough cough*
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Post by Archagon on Mar 24, 2004 20:48:39 GMT -5
Anyways, nice poem! However:
"And the Castles push forth, o’er black, and white, And swift, swift Knight, o’er the pieces you ride."
You may want to change the 1st or 2nd "o'er".
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Post by Little Miss Odd on Mar 24, 2004 21:17:44 GMT -5
Lancaster and York, in this war, each led Two bishops, two castles, two knights; swords drawn. Lord and Lady of carnelian red Summon protection against the white pawn! Dance the dance on squares of darkness and light. O, Bishop glide, ‘tween the pieces you slide, And Castles push forth, march the black, and white, And swift, swift Knight, o’er the pieces you ride. Guard well the Lady who glides and impels, Stately Queen, so devoted to your Lord, Battle your foe; you’ve great power, it quells. History forever, Wars on this board, This game, the tribute to a war so old, First move is made, let the story unfold.
happy?
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Post by Archagon on Mar 24, 2004 21:19:19 GMT -5
No, but the poem's fine ;D
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Post by Little Miss Odd on Mar 24, 2004 21:27:33 GMT -5
can't decide which sounds better...
Lancaster and York, in this war, each led Two bishops, two castles, two knights; swords drawn. Lord and Lady of carnelian red Summon protection against the white pawn! Dance the dance on squares of darkness and light. O, Bishop glide, ‘tween the pieces you slide, And the Castles push forth, cross black, and white, And swift, swift Knight, o’er the pieces you ride. Guard well the Lady who glides and impels, Stately Queen, so devoted to your Lord, Battle your foe; you’ve great power, it quells. History forever, Wars on this board, This game, the tribute to a war so old, First move is made, let the story unfold.
or
Lancaster and York, in this war, each led Two bishops, two castles, two knights; swords drawn. Lord and Lady of carnelian red Summon protection against the white pawn! Dance the dance on squares of darkness and light. O, Bishop glide, ‘tween the pieces you slide, And Castles push forth, march the black, and white, And swift, swift Knight, o’er the pieces you ride. Guard well the Lady who glides and impels, Stately Queen, so devoted to your Lord, Battle your foe; you’ve great power, it quells. History forever, Wars on this board, This game, the tribute to a war so old, First move is made, let the story unfold.
or do both not work...
peer edit!!
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Post by Arachis on Mar 24, 2004 22:54:11 GMT -5
march the... doesnt seem to work well... go with the other one.
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Post by KillinKrillan on Mar 24, 2004 22:57:59 GMT -5
Really? I like the second one better...
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Post by Little Miss Odd on Mar 24, 2004 23:13:20 GMT -5
compromise?
And Castles, push forth, cross the black and white
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Post by Arachis on Mar 24, 2004 23:53:11 GMT -5
sure... cuz compromises always work out... like the compromise of 1850, and the missouri compormise.... I meant it wasnt them that led to the civil war.... Well... at least the postponed it.
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Post by Little Miss Odd on Mar 26, 2004 0:24:30 GMT -5
any one got any ideas for a title?
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Post by Arachis on Mar 28, 2004 23:36:29 GMT -5
Circular History perhaps? something that includes both the history aspect and the replayability of chess (I think I just made that word up.) By the way, I would go through and check the poem, I beleive their are on or more lines which dont have the right number of syllables. I would try to fix them, considering that meter is an important part of a sonnet.
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