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Post by bezzerkker on Apr 14, 2004 16:59:20 GMT -5
Audible Transition Such a quick change From your voice to the screaming Your sweet voice and bared emotions sent me reeling Need to find some Stable ground Look in anger and it's found From bitter sweet to sweetly bitter feel my pulse beat quicker and quicker fade my worry banish my pain hear the voices make it plain My dependence on the music Making me stable so melodic Rhythmic patterns over and on feed my pain into the song
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Post by Archagon on Apr 14, 2004 17:05:30 GMT -5
Nice closure.
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Post by bezzerkker on Apr 14, 2004 18:05:10 GMT -5
thank you I could explain the poem if people are confused about it
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Post by KillinKrillan on Apr 15, 2004 15:13:03 GMT -5
That would be grand. I'm terrible at trying to understand most poetry.
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Post by bezzerkker on Apr 15, 2004 18:04:24 GMT -5
'sok, I would probably find this confusing as well if I hadn't been the one writing it I went from talking to my girlfriend on the phone to listening to slipknot that should explain it well enough, oh and its addressed to my girlfriend
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Post by Haku on Apr 15, 2004 23:40:26 GMT -5
wow...so much emotion...
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Post by bezzerkker on Apr 16, 2004 23:46:34 GMT -5
thank you, I think that is the first time someone has said that about my poetry
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Post by BlueDolphin on Apr 17, 2004 0:27:39 GMT -5
The line breaks also helps the emotion aspect of it. It certainly would lose a great deal of its feeling if the lines were longer and less abrupt, even if the words were the same. So to sum up, good enjambment (is that what it is called?)
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Post by bezzerkker on Apr 17, 2004 1:03:32 GMT -5
I have no idea, and since my dictionary has decided to disappear for the moment, I can't look it up. I somewhat copied the rythm from Papa Roach's song "Last Resort," well, just the lines "Suffocation/ No breathing" sorta... I got the idea for it from the song would fit what I did better *takes mental notes on uses of line breaks*
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Post by Archagon on Apr 17, 2004 18:39:09 GMT -5
Dictionary.com is your language salvation, lest paper artifacts do vanish.
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Post by bezzerkker on Apr 17, 2004 20:24:11 GMT -5
yeah, but that requires less laziness, adn that just doesn't work out with my job description
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Post by Archagon on Apr 18, 2004 0:39:46 GMT -5
You'd rather skim through a 2000-page book than type a word into a text box? Your logic defies me...
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Post by bezzerkker on Apr 18, 2004 15:18:41 GMT -5
there is logic involved?! Actually, there is. With how slow my computer is, flipping through the dictionary is quicker.
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Post by KillinKrillan on Apr 18, 2004 15:32:10 GMT -5
How fast, or rather, slow is your computer?
Tell us everything!
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Post by bezzerkker on Apr 18, 2004 15:45:44 GMT -5
its at least five years old, possibly six hewlet packard pavilion, windows '98 intel celeron processor, 466MHz 64MB SDRAM 8.4 GB hard drive V.90 K56flex modem 40x max speed CD-ROM drive that answer your question? by the way, I have no idea what all that means ^^'' I just got it off of a sticker thing that is on top of my tower and summarized it
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