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Post by Little Miss Odd on Mar 25, 2004 21:01:48 GMT -5
so i needed to add more lines to the pathetic few i have for the poetry unit
Cassandra’s Plea
Morpheus, God of Slumber Brother of Death unrequited Grant me leave of my heavy burdens Let me sink slowly into your sweet void Give me reprieve from this inner turmoil Let the mists of sleep take and keep me That I may dream of better times Darken Apollo’s bright rays This curse I may forget I, Princess of Sparta, Cassandra, do beseech you Darken the sight of eyes and mind Grant me ignorance of the future, Let me feel joy and pain with my people Let me not sadden them with prophecy
Let me Live once again, Cassandra of Sparta Not Apollo’s Seer A girl A princess Me
what do you think? i need feedback so i can have "proof of obvious revision"
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Post by Arachis on Mar 25, 2004 21:58:32 GMT -5
ummm... is the poem supposed to be shaped like a sine wave (or maybe an eagle)? or is it just coincidence... If it is you better explain why. If it isnt, well then its a bad poem, because every part of poetry ought to be deliberate. Either way, your left with only one way out.
Also... why did you write it? is it supposed to be metaphorical for anything? or is it just supposed to be telling the tale of Cassandra, greek prohetess.
Finally, I thought her story was somewhat different, I thought she didnt mind being a prophet, or being blind. What bugged her is that no one listend to her when she told them something, even though it was the truth. As a result, some of your poem doesnt make sense according to that version of the tale
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Post by Little Miss Odd on Mar 25, 2004 22:43:26 GMT -5
she was not blind i never said she was, and she was raped by apollo and then cursed/blessed with the oracular powers, and she gave up on people, her mother wasn't terribly fond of her, that and her brother was Paris
and even if it IS a horrible poem i still get credit for it, and did you bother counting syllables? that and i was trying for the shape of a soaring bird, but proboards is annoying and so my indentations aren't working
a flying bird because most of her life cassandra was caged, firstly because she was a princess, then there was that little issue of her "insanity", then caged because agamemnon sort of took her home after that little issue with the war clytemnestra kills her, which was sort of a release, because she was a woman, and therefore had to watch as hector was killed then dragged around and around, then paris is murdered, Priam is out of the picture...
i claim poetic license anyway
get over it
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Post by Arachis on Mar 28, 2004 23:41:41 GMT -5
Sorry... I must have been tired when I first read it, that and I was hallucinating things. I had thought you had somewhere said Cassandra was blind, but now I realise that I was wrong. The only thing I am worried about though, is the person you chose. You seem to be trying to convey the image of the female sex being caged up (or at least thats my interpretation), and Im not sure if Cassandras the right person to represent that. I would use Cassandra as the main character of a poem which tries to express the deafness mankind has for a particular thing... o well who am I to criticize when I so obviously was high last time I read it. Maybe the effects havnt worn off yet.
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