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Post by Antid on Mar 23, 2004 1:33:36 GMT -5
Good Night everyone!
Twinkle, twinkle, silver star, Sleep now, no more winking, May your dreams take you afar, While I sit here, thinking. Pondering on matters deep, Silly, yet exquisite, Twinkle, silver star, and sleep - Pay Hypnos a visit.
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Post by Archagon on Mar 23, 2004 1:38:30 GMT -5
Wonderful! Personally, the word "silly" doesn't appeal to me, but that's pretty much all I can find wrong in this. Plus, I can sympathise...
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Post by Antid on Mar 23, 2004 18:58:57 GMT -5
Actually, I edited the word "silly" in there because I think it is more accurate.
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Post by bezzerkker on Mar 23, 2004 21:26:08 GMT -5
very nice. I found the rhyme scheme and atmosphere to the poem very enjoyable
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Post by Haku on Mar 23, 2004 23:44:36 GMT -5
wow! I really like the way it sounds. very cool ;D
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Post by Arachis on Mar 24, 2004 3:08:39 GMT -5
Nice job Dmitry... you write too much good Poetry....
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Post by Antid on Mar 24, 2004 17:46:03 GMT -5
It's almost too casual, though. I wrote it very fast.
Thanks, though!
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Post by BlueDolphin on Mar 24, 2004 19:06:14 GMT -5
Pretty cool. Especially for a poem which you supposedly wrote quickly.
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Post by Arachis on Mar 24, 2004 23:02:16 GMT -5
the only thing I dont like is the twinkle twinkle parts... because it gets me reading it as though it was part of twinkle twinkle little star, which of course has a different meter than your poem and as a result makes it near impossible to read properly.
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