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Sex
Sept 1, 2003 20:57:52 GMT -5
Post by Archagon on Sept 1, 2003 20:57:52 GMT -5
I suppose so...
But "sex just happens" sounds like you're waaaay off the whole Protestant scale.
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Sex
Sept 1, 2003 21:28:13 GMT -5
Post by Janus on Sept 1, 2003 21:28:13 GMT -5
just because this is actually somewhat interesting despite what i would have imagined from this forum and this topic, here is my view Thinking about anything is ok. repress it, make a concious effort to think about it more, whatever, it doesn't matter, that is YOU, YOU get to choose that. However, when it effects other people in a negative way or even in a positive way but they don't like it, that is not all right. so, to apply it to this particular topic, you can think about screwing whatever you'd like, hey, have at lincoln's statue in your day dreams if you really feel that way. but don't go and do it, unless of course the statues is willing, then of course its fair game you f.ucking the statue will not effect me in any way, unless of course i see it, so i have no right to complain. the problem that i've encountered with this is overpopulation. when someone reproduces a ton, ie. (imo) more than 3-4 kids (i firmly believe in zpg), then that could effect me in the sense that there will not be enough to go around for everyone. I'm still not really sure what i have to say about this because on one hand, i want to say that the people have no right to reproduce that much because its taking things from other people in terms of space on this planet and food and all that (i know it sounds far-fetched, but believe me, stuff like that effects tons of people...), but on the other hand the people who are over reproducing cannot really control whether or not their children will be taking up someone else's space...get what i mean?
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Sex
Sept 3, 2003 0:38:29 GMT -5
Post by Marla on Sept 3, 2003 0:38:29 GMT -5
Since I have recently decided to come back, I will now post this.
I agree with practically everyone here. I am personally unsure whether I will wait till marriage to engage in sexual activity. However, I am sure that I will wait and think very carefully before coming to any decision. I cannot tell what my feelings will be when I am twenty or twenty two...however, I will make sure to consider all aspects of the situation before I act.
Sex does not "just happen". You are in complete control of your body, unless you are forced to take drugs, insane, or raped. Other than these and a few other circumstances, you are in control of your decision.
So, will I have sex before I get married? I really dont know. To be honest, it is really not a very important question for me right now. However, I am sure that I will not have sex in high school. Also, when I do have sex, it will not be some random decision...definetly with someone I know and trust.
Anyway, I am fairly uncomfortable with "touching" in general, as some of you may have noticed . So, this issue is not extremely important to me as of now.
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Sex
Sept 3, 2003 19:31:01 GMT -5
Post by BlueDolphin on Sept 3, 2003 19:31:01 GMT -5
Wow, how upstanding of you Marla. I also disagree with how sex "just happens" Yes, the urge to reproduce has been drilled and cemented in the human mind through millions of years of evolution, but even so, we are still in control of our actions and it is not a basic survival need like eating or drinking.
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Sex
Sept 3, 2003 20:14:26 GMT -5
Post by Janus on Sept 3, 2003 20:14:26 GMT -5
well, saying "sex just happens" of course doesn't apply at ALL on a person to person basis and when you get down to little details, but on the large scale sex does "just happen" when you talk about people under 20. it doesn't HAVE to happen, but at this point in society, a lot of kids end up doing it before they're 20 one way or another
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Sex
Sept 3, 2003 21:51:29 GMT -5
Post by Antid on Sept 3, 2003 21:51:29 GMT -5
When I wrote that sometimes sex "just happens," I meant that sometimes the thrill of the moment is too much to resist for people - they just don't want to stop, and their desire overrides their commitments, making them seem foolish. At the moment of desire, only the attainment of that desire seems to be the rational choice. If you want to be so technical about it, of course nothing "just happens," but the decisions we hold firm today often waver tomorrow or when they are truly tested. I don't believe in the hardcore "I have willpower" crap. It reminds me of bravado in fighting - a guy is waving his fists and talking big words until he is actually confronted. Then he chickens out because he did not mentally expect it! That is why I think that some individuals will be singing a different tune when they have matured and understood the full strength of sexual desire. I, personally, would prefer to abstain from sex until I'm married, but I will not make any rigid commitments - those are the ones that are most easily broken. Strength is in flexibility, not in rigidness. I plan to judge by the circumstances, and be flexible with myself. That way I won't sprain anything .
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Sex
Sept 3, 2003 22:49:40 GMT -5
Post by Archagon on Sept 3, 2003 22:49:40 GMT -5
It all depends on what sex means to you, in the end.
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Sex
Sept 4, 2003 0:15:02 GMT -5
Post by Antid on Sept 4, 2003 0:15:02 GMT -5
So what does it mean to you?
Keep in mind that in two years' time your definition of sex can also change. Personal definitions are circumstance-friendly.
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Sex
Sept 4, 2003 0:19:17 GMT -5
Post by Janus on Sept 4, 2003 0:19:17 GMT -5
ya, another moral thing that i had forgotten about earlier, one should not have sex if one cannot handle the possible consequences. don't make some poor kid miserable because you got horny.
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Sex
Sept 4, 2003 22:57:29 GMT -5
Post by Archagon on Sept 4, 2003 22:57:29 GMT -5
Sex is more than a way to get pleasure. Sex is a bonding between two human beings who open themselves up to each other (unless it's hug or something). Therefore, it could NOT "just happen." Bonding takes more than that.
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Sex
Sept 4, 2003 23:23:44 GMT -5
Post by Antid on Sept 4, 2003 23:23:44 GMT -5
Bonding between human beings often occurs spontaneously. Marriage is an alliance. Sex is secondary in importance to that alliance. Don't confuse sex and marriage.
Sex does not require any kind of permanent bonding. It COULD just happen. Yes, I believe in lust at first sight. It DOES "just happen."
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Sex
Sept 5, 2003 0:08:02 GMT -5
Post by Archagon on Sept 5, 2003 0:08:02 GMT -5
And that will never happen to me, as long as I hold on to my beliefs.
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Sex
Sept 5, 2003 0:45:40 GMT -5
Post by >>The Neon One on Sept 5, 2003 0:45:40 GMT -5
In a perfect world, sex should never occur without love. Because, although many would not like to admit it, humans form emotional attatchments. Sex without love has terrible psychological consequences for both parties. It makes them think that they are worth no more than their body. Many people use sex as a means of validation of themselves.
As for sex before marriage... as long as there is a longstanding commitment and love. And if both partners are absolutely willing. No pressure. No nothing. I don't think sex itself is dirty or evil. Like anything else, it's just how it's used. If it is used to hurt someone, as a power issue, etc. then it becomes a bad thing. If it is an act between two, consenting individuals who have thought it through then there's nothing wrong with it.
I can't say what my personal choice will be. Right now, I'm focused on preparing my future and by no means am ready to deal with the emotional issues that arise with such an important step.
In addition, I believe that both partners have a moral duty to discuss consequences, and medical issues. For one thing, if you are not a virgin, I think that you should routinely get checked for STDs and inform your partner of your health status. Seriously, if you love your partner, it's a small step. After all, if you are infected, you wouldn't want to infect them too, now would you? Also, birth control. If you don't want kids, make sure that it's on hand. Discuss what meathods you want to use. It sounds stupid, cheesy and corny, but better corny than ending up sorry, pregnant/a father, and SOL.
In addition, sex, as I mentioned before, has huge emotional implications. It is a surrendering of self in many ways. You have to be completely open. Therefore, the decision should never be taken lightly. I consider it a huge crime to use sex to pray upon people's emotions.
Yes, people do get carried away in the heat of the moment. That is why couples should discuss these things and how far they feel comfortable going before the heat of the moment. If people's feelings are perfectly clear and out in the open, it is more difficult to break such agreements.
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Sex
Sept 5, 2003 1:17:10 GMT -5
Post by Archagon on Sept 5, 2003 1:17:10 GMT -5
Well said.
Here's a better question: how far should couples go?
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Sex
Sept 5, 2003 18:52:33 GMT -5
Post by Salome on Sept 5, 2003 18:52:33 GMT -5
that depends entirely on the people, theyre situation, and what they're comfortable with/ what they want
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